Somebody help me, I need to get out of this holiday mood. :/
Friday Met Jon at Vivo in the evening, had Carl's Jr. for dinner (again) and caught The Brothers Bloom. :) It was a sort of indie-ish movie but enjoyable nevertheless. Adrien Brody is simply awesome and Rachel Weisz did a really good job too. I didn't know she could act that well, I've only seen her in the first two instalments of The Mummy series, haha. Walked around a bit after that and Jon suggested we try the freezing chamber in the National Geographic shop. ._. Didn't in the end though, I was already feeling cold from sitting in the cinema and we weren't exactly dressed for it. :/
Saturday Went to Jon's to study and ended up bumming around as usual. x) Wimbledon, playing wall tennis with our hands and a squishy ball, Last Comic Standing... I didn't even touch the work I'd brought, and when we did sit down to try to get something productive done I had to teach Jon complex numbers. Which is revision for me I suppose, so that's something at least. x) I must say I'm quite thankful that we don't get questions as hard as the ones in Jon's math notes and exercise books, he learns the same things and yet the degree of difficulty seems to be way above ours. :/
Sunday Majorly long day. I was out for what I think is a record sixteen hours, from 8.45am to 12.45am. :o Church with Jon's family in the morning, followed by a huge lunch at the new Chili's at Tanglin Mall (I'm gonna get fat), poker at Russell's until 8.30pm and a double-date dinner and movie at Jurong Point with Jon, Daphne and Benjamin. :) Poker was alright, we were nine-handed and I folded a lot when I should've stayed, causing my stack to dwindle until about an hour before the game ended and my luck began to kick in. I then managed to triple up and came away with a profit of $31. :D Gotta remember that patience usually triumphs in the end. :)
Watched Transformers 2 at 10pm. It was better than expected and definitely not as crappy as the reviews made it out to be. Plus, the tomboy in me has to admit that the morphing and stuff is kinda cool. x) It's pretty darn amazing, the amount of CGI and attention to detail that must've gone into that.
Jon kept covering my eyes when Megan Fox or Isabel Lucas came onscreen in case I "turned lesbian and left him". ._. Um, shouldn't it be the other way round? Jon claims he doesn't see the appeal in Megan Fox but I'm not sure I believe him completely. I mean, come on, every guy on the planet is in lust with her, although I personally don't think she's all that (smoking body, honeyed voice, too bad about the face). She and Isabel Lucas (who in my opinion is better-looking) ought to have switched roles, Megan fits the "slutty killer fembot" bill and Isabel the "sweet girly heroine" stereotype more snugly.
versus
If I didn't know anything about Transformers and had to wager on who played what, I would've chosen Megan as the fembot immediately. Then there would've been more of Isabel to ogle. :) I guess Jon was right to be worried, I do like looking at hot girls in movies. Hahaha. x)
What irked me about the show was the strange relationship between Megan and Shia LaBeouf's characters. The setting of Transformers 2 is two years after Transformers, and Megan and Shia were supposedly together for that entire time. Yet, at the beginning of the movie, their main problem was that they hadn't said "I love you" to each other because neither of them wanted to be the first to say it. Okay, I really don't understand that. How can anyone be together for two whole years and still not have said those three words? I'm a romantic realist, and while I believe the connection that is love does take a long while to build, two years is a little too long. :/ Then, later, upon catching Shia cheating on her, Megan simply walked away calmly. Most people would've blown up or broken down, or both. Anything besides the emotionless expression Megan had. I suppose that explains the lack of "I love you"s, tsk. :/
Anyhow, when the movie was done Jon sent me back in a cab, which took less than five minutes. Slept around 2.15am and woke up at 9.15am today despite how tired I was and the fact that there's school tomorrow. Rawr. :/ I desperately need to get it into my head that the holidays are over and I should therefore be sleeping earlier and working harder. I hate being JC2, I honestly do. I also (sometimes) really hate the fact that Jon's a year below me and in IB, if he wasn't we'd at least be suffering at the same times and enjoying ourselves at the same times, instead of his mid-year exams ending this Wednesday and me having to work my backside off nonstop until late November. :/ Not to mention he'd probably be in ACJC, perhaps in my class. Imagine that. :) *Goes into a daydream*
Which reminds me, school term or not, I must catch Harry Potter when it comes out later this month. :) And My Sister's Keeper, which Singapore is horribly slow in releasing. Jon refuses to watch it with me, I lent him the book ages ago, he got bored with it halfway and then somehow misplaced it. It hasn't been found to this day, so I can't even re-read it before seeing the film. Pfft.
I got teary-eyed just from watching the trailer. :)
Quote of the day from Jon: "Oh man I'm cute. I think I could fall in love with myself." ._.
Shall go and do some chemistry revision now. Happy belated birthday Sammi and Caleb, and happy birthday in advance (tomorrow) Jeslyn! :D
I've survived the first week of school and I must say, TGIF, seriously. :/ It's been pretty hectic, having to rush a lot of stuff, although admittedly it's my own fault since most of it was supposed to have been done during the holidays and me, being my usual lazy self, couldn't be bothered. x) I've had to write my own testimonial, do nine GP essay outlines, dig up all my GP work from the beginning of this year until now, organise and file them, and do the same for math. Math wasn't so bad because I'd already stored my notes together, but the rest was a horrible chore. Writing my own testimonial also made me feel kind of pathetic and selfish because I realised that, in the past one-and-a-half years that I've been in ACJC, I haven't done a single meaningful thing. :/ My CIP for last year was only Fun-O-Rama, which was compulsory for everyone anyway, thanks to me coming down with a fever the night before our class CIP. I haven't done any this year, either, and even if I do next week it'd be too late to put it into my testimonial. :/ As for my CCA, there was only drama and CWC, the latter of which I felt bad writing about since I missed more than half the meetings due to drama rehearsals. In the end, my three achievements consisted of drama, CWC and, believe it or not, the GP inter-class debate from last year. ._. Yes, I had to resort to using that, sigh. I think the PQ (personal qualities) part of my testimonial will be good nevertheless, Jon gave me a few snippets of his own testimonial from secondary school for me to copy, and I managed not to lie that much about myself. x)
We've currently got six people in SA4 who're on leave of absence. When the term started it was just Phu and Hieu, then on Wednesday Rachel Pan, Sheryl, Wi Lin and Amelia were told they had to go home as well. Apparently last week they'd been in contact with a girl in our level who was subsequently diagnosed with H1N1. ._. Scary. Frankly, I'm quite amazed nobody I know personally has it yet. Only a matter of time I guess. :/
Economics mid-year results came back today. Based on the marks alone I failed, but my grade is an E, which is considered a pass. x) At first I thought I'd got another U, until I checked my paper and realised Mrs Saw had miscalculated by five marks. ._. BIG difference. While an E still stinks, at least I've improved. I borderline-passed four out of five essay question parts (passing one alone is already a huge feat for me) and might've been able to pass the last part, giving me an overall D, if I'd had the time to finish it. Pfft. Still, I failed all my H2s during term exams, so this is definitely a step in the right direction. :)
From here on out, I swear I'm going to work hard. Prelims are in roughly six weeks and I wanna know what I'm capable of if I truly study. :/ Oh, I've also realised that prelims will be a week and a day after National Day (or, more significantly, Jon and I's two-year anniversary). How annoying is that??? :/ I don't care, I'm taking that day off. Just that day. x)
Awesome new Cobra Starship song featuring Leighton Meester. She looks really pretty in it. :)
And I know this is old, but I only just decided to put pictures up. I love love love what Leighton wore to the MTV Movie Awards. :D The makeup, the dress, the heels, everything. I probably wouldn't be daring enough to try it myself though, it's rather revealing at the back. :o
Dinner and a movie with Jon later! I love Fridays. :D
It's been a long, long first day back at school. Was gonna do work when I came home but I don't feel like it now so I might as well update. As to why I'm upset, I'll get to that later. :/
Sunday Awesome day out. :) Combined service at Wesley in the morning, where I bumped into Stef, and lunch with Jon at Pepper Lunch, one of my favourite places to eat despite the fact that I always order the same thing. x) This time, I decided to try the teryaki chicken instead of my usual beef pepper rice, and was disappointed when the rice came separately and therefore didn't have the tasty flavours mixed in. :/ I also wasn't allowed to add cheese to my set, which was a major bummer. Pfft.
Played pool after, which we hadn't done in a while, got owned (naturally), and then caught Land of the Lost. :) It'd only got like 1.5 stars, but that's expected because it's just for laughs. I was really surprised when Anna Friel opened her mouth and out came a British accent, in Pushing Daisies she's got an American accent. ._.
Had to rush off when the movie was done to go to my grandparents' place. Dinner was at a Chinese seafood restaurant at the Singapore Flyer, and I took the opportunity when my mother and I were waiting for my father and grandfather to visit the toilet to ask her about going to England. Her initial reaction was to shake her head, frown and go "no, no, no". Nevertheless, I persisted, countering all the reasons she began to list as to why it wasn't a good idea, and when my father reappeared she asked for his opinion and he assured her it'd be okay. She then hit him on the back and accused him of being too easygoing about everything, but didn't say no again when I asked her what I should tell Jon. The matter also wasn't discussed any further so I naively thought it wasn't a definite answer yet. :/ I went to bed that night, half-hoping, half-not daring to hope.
Today The dreaded return to school. It's really amazing how quickly the holidays passed, they just seem to whiz by faster and faster each time. :/ Anyway, we received our new timetables for the second semester and they're alright I suppose, although I still prefer the old timetable. Mondays are absolutely killer now, with five lessons in a row and tutorials for every subject except our H1s. :/ Fortunately, we end earlier on Tuesdays and dismissal on the rest of the days remains the same, which means getting through Monday is the only tough part. Yay. :D
Got back our math and chemistry mid-year papers as well. Scored an A for math, albeit a lower one than I'd expected, and, surprise surprise, a U for chemistry. :/ Okay, actually, I was surprised when I saw my mark, because I didn't think I'd fail that badly. :/ Turns out a lot of the questions were trickier than I'd realised. Sigh. At least a pathetic two people in class passed, which shows that organic chemistry is simply asdfghjkl;.
The main event of the day took place on the way home in my mother's car. Out of nowhere she was like, "Have you told Jon I'm not allowing you to go to England?" And I went, "What?! Why???" She began to explain again why she disapproved, the main gist of which was that, firstly, she thinks I'm/we're too young/serious and to "wait a couple of years" and, secondly, she doesn't trust us not to wind up in the same bedroom together, despite my insistence that there'll be three adults (Jon's parents plus grandmother) chaperoning us at all times. :/ The parts that pissed me off the most were:
Mother: You going with his family is indicative of you already being their daughter-in-law. I told you to slow down the pace of the relationship but you didn't listen to me, did you? What makes you think you'll stay with him? Me: *Keeps quiet, because I know whatever I say will just make her see me as a foolish, lovestruck teenager* Mother (continuing): What if you break up? I'll have to watch you be miserable every day, pick up the pieces for you... Me: What makes you think I'll need you to? (This honestly isn't me being rude. Good friends would know I very rarely ask, outright, for help or comfort. I don't expect anyone to be there for me, and besides, I believe I'll always be okay eventually.)
Me: If it were Keith (my brother), at my age, asking to do the same thing, you'd let him go wouldn't you? Mother: Your brother never had any of these funny ideas. Me: But if he did, I bet you would've said yes. Mother: ...He's a guy. I cannot tell you how angry that made me. He's a guy? Big. Effing. Deal. What, he can take better care of himself? Yeah right, he's way more scatterbrained than I am, my mother says so herself. What, he's less likely to end up having sex? Or, worse still, it's okay if he does? Sheesh, give me a break, seriously. I thought my mother was smart; I guess intelligence and open-mindedness don't necessarily go hand-in-hand.
I wanted to tell her I hated her. Hated her for imposing her rules on me, for not even trying to understand my point of view, when she knew how much I wanted this. But I didn't. It's immature and spiteful and untrue, and I'm not that kind of person. I have never told anyone to his or her face that I hated her and I probably never will. She's only doing this because she cares about me. I can't blame her for that. :/
Anyhow, I called Jon when I got back and told him the story, tearfully (yes I cry rather easily). The first thing he said, after a pause, was, "...Do you have your passport? Let's elope." :o Hahaha. I couldn't help smiling then, and by the end of our conversation (consisting mostly of me ranting) I was feeling better, and had even reluctantly let a giggle out a few times. :) He's the best, I swear. He also spoke to his parents and the plan now is that, sometime next week, when his exams are over, his mother will give mine a ring and talk to her (no promises though). Of course, I'll have to pretend I didn't know anything about that, I'm supposed to act like I'm accepting my mother's decision completely. In fact, she came into my room earlier to show me handbags she'd got from a friend and we behaved perfectly normally to each other. I'd been planning to give her a thunderous face and rotten attitude for weeks to show her how upset I was with her, but Jon convinced me not to. Plus it's pretty tiring to keep up and, like I said, I should be more mature than that. :/
So yeah, that was my daily dose of drama. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best and I'm definitely, definitely gonna continue praying. At least Jon reassured me that he won't be gone for a whole month, as his parents previously told me. It's more like the usual two weeks or three at most. Phew. :) If only he was going during the As, in November, as he has the last few years. Then I wouldn't be able to come along either way, time would pass faster and I could focus more on studying. Pfft. :/
Alright, it's getting late and I'm tired. Goodnight world.
Warning: Gloomy, reflective-type post coming up. Don't read if you're feeling down. :/
This morning, I woke up at almost 11am after having roughly eleven hours of sleep. I went online immediately, which is what I usually do, and discovered that Michael Jackson had passed away. While I won't pretend that I'm a huge fan of his and am devastated at the news, I did grow up listening to his songs in my parents' cars and watching his music videos on MTV.
I first saw this when I was nine or ten. Check out his moves, I wonder if anyone'll ever be able to dance like that again.
I'm also kind of weirded out because I realised how many people I've heard of that have died in the past few days. Last Sunday it was two friends of Jon's parents, unrelated to each other, on Monday it was my mother's friend whom she's known since my brother was in primary school, and now a whole string of celebrities (Michael, Farrah Fawcett, Ed MacMahon, David Carradine... Admittedly, I had no idea who the last two were until they died) as well. I guess it just goes to show how fragile life is. A cliché? Maybe, yet we only need an incident like this to remind us of its truth.
In a way, though, I'm glad Michael is dead. While he was alive he was constantly criticised by the media and the public for being a paedophile, freak, etc. Nobody seemed to care that he was a great artiste and performer in his heyday, because his nose falling off or him dangling his kids over his balcony was that much more interesting. Now that he's gone, however, the world is raving about his talent and his legend and everything that made him famous rather than infamous. Mankind are hypocrites, pure and simple. At least Michael can rest in peace knowing he was remembered mostly for the good and not the bad.
As for myself, I've been happier lately. :) Not that I was ever really unhappy, but I know I'm happier, even if it's just by a little. I am gradually repairing my relationship with God. I am slowly learning how to control my negative feelings, replacing them with memories of positive ones. I am trusting in the knowledge that it'll all work out eventually. It always does.
If tomorrow never comes, would you know how much I love you?
Would you stand up at my funeral and say that you loved me too?
So it's the last week of the holidays, with no extension despite everyone hoping that we'd have an extra week to take care of our unfinished business (news here, if you didn't already know). I'd be kinda looking forward to school, actually, if it didn't mean having to go full steam ahead until the As, and that I wouldn't be able to sleep in or see Jon as often anymore. :/
Had extra economics lessons yesterday morning, where we went through the entire syllabus. I'm proud to say that, having revised all the JC1 topics recently, and still remembering the stuff I studied for mid-years, I was super attentive and was able to answer most of Mrs Saw's questions. :D I've yet to start on math and chemistry revision though, and my brain seems to have conveniently forgotten about the existence of another subject called geography. :/ Now that'll be the real challenge, catching up on one-and-a-half-years' worth of crap. Sigh. I honestly should've just taken literature as a H1 instead. :/
Went out with my favourite classmates to Vivo after that. :) Had lunch at Carl's Jr. (I need to stop eating junk) and watched Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. I thought the acting left a lot to be desired, but it was pretty touching at some parts. I particularly liked Matthew McConaughey's speech to Lacey Chabert (his brother's bride-to-be) about taking risks for love and all. It was a "my sentiments exactly" and "aww" moment at the same time. :)
I've decided to ask my mother about going to England this weekend :/ I don't wanna keep Jon's family waiting for my answer and it's better to get it over and done with sooner too. I'll probably do it on Sunday, in the car on the way back from dinner, because then my father'll be present and he'll be able to help me convince my mother to let me go. :/ I can't express how badly I want this. Jon and his parents have been telling me about their house in England and it sounds absolutely lovely. Jon was like, "I don't care, you're definitely coming with us." ._. Yeah, by hook or by crook, I WILL be spending Christmas and New Year's in England. I must. *Clenches jaw determinedly* Gotta keep praying about this anyhow, I still believe in God's power to make amazing things happen even though my spiritual walk has been way off lately. :/
My favourite picture of Jon to date. :D He insists he looks terrible in it. Um, what??? ♥
